August, 2010 - Cari, James, Kelsey, Mike
My family is one of the greatest blessings in my life. I want to pour that blessing out as praise, and I hope this little glimpse into the importance of siblings will serve as an encouragement to you!
I count my siblings - Mike, James and Kelsey - among my best friends. I've looked up to my brother Mike my entire life. His faith during his high school years is what challenged me to make my faith real. The couple of years we spent in high school and then college together shaped my life tremendsously.
My brother James has the BEST heart - i admire him like crazy! He loves and cares about people and he has such integrity! My faith deepens just by being able to watch James love on young children. The years I spent with James during high school and college also molded me. Having conversations with my brothers on car rides to high school every morning and between Drake and home during college are dear memories. They may never admit it, but we shed tears together (ok, maybe most of the tears were mine), we laughed hysterically, we problem-solved, we reminisced, we prayed, we debated, we talked about life.
Then there's my Sister, the baby of the family, sweet sweet Kelsey Leigh. I think Mike, James and I would all be quick to admit that Kelsey's faith is a real challenge to us all. Her Savior Jesus is the love of her life and she is spending herself on behalf of making him known in her world. Wow! Kelsey is a prayer warrior and the best person to pour your heart out to because she's quick to always offer a biblical perpsective on life's trials.
...sorry for the long intro with lots of details on those three, once i started, i just couldn't stop...
Over the course of my life, I have been asked countless times "How is it that you and your siblings are so close?" or "What did your parents do to make you and your brothers and sisters end up liking each other?" I am not attempting to answer that question - none of us (neither my siblings nor my parents) would even begin to say that we somehow did something right to become the family we are. No - it's completely by the grace of God, a free and beautiful gift of God
Every family is formed and created by the grace of God, a free and beautiful gift of God, and it is only by His grace that we can develop meaningful and real relationships. The uniqueness of your family is a gift that should be treasured and cultivated.
With that said, I believe we should hold this priceless gift with both hands and treat it as the valuable gift that it is. My heart is blessed as I see brothers and sisters that enjoy one another and show each other respect. My heart breaks when I see brothers and sisters fostering hatred and bitterness towards one another.
Since brothers and sisters are in our lives forever, (whether the thought inspires or haunts you) we should pour extra effort into developing these forced relationships into chosen friendships. I think this means parents should reinforce the value of siblings to their kids, encouraging their togetherness with one another as much as possible.
Pastor Harald has mentioned a few times lately that we're quick to write people's sinful tendencies off as "the way they are." Saying, "Oh so and so has always been like that and there's nothing we can do about it." In doing so, we neglect the reality that through Jesus we have the power to overcome the old self. All too often it seems we assume that children have a natural disdain for one another that there is nothing we can do about, so we ignore it and cross our fingers hoping they'll grow out of it one day. That makes me nervous.
I want to do my part to encourage the children in my world to LOVE and CHERISH their brothers and sisters as beloved gifts from their Father God. That means I won't listen to their complaints and unkind words about siblings without reminding them of the blessing in the trials. It means I'll work to cultivate sibling relationships by creatively designing opportunities for them to work together and enjoy each other's unique gifts.
There are so many GREAT examples within our Kids of Faith ministries of siblings that treasure each other - that does my heart a whole lot of good!
Weigh in on this for me - parents, what steps do you take to encourage your children to have great friendships?
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