Parenting (Notes from a sermon by John Fuller)

Last week I listened to an incredible sermon on parenting by John Fuller and his wife Kay at Prairie Lakes Church in Cedar Falls. I encourage each of you to click here and listen for yourselves. If you don't have time to listen, take a minute to read some of my notes below. Or, order the book Parenting Beyond your Capacity by: Reggie Joiner and Carey Niehwhof and read it. Many of John's points were pulled from this book.

1. Widen the Circle (2 Timothy 1:3-5)
Be intentional about widening your circle of friends and the circle of adult influences in your child's life. Choose your friends wisely, your children will see them and the way you interact with them and it will impact your children. Pray that God will bring other godly adults into your children's lives when they need them (i.e. when Mom and Dad just aren't cool enough to listen to).

2. Imagine the End (Hebrews 12:1-3)
In order to stay the course in parenting, you need to focus on where you want to be and where you want your children to be (ultimately, the goal would be that they would love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind & strength). Think about what you need to do now to help your children get to the end. In the end, you want your children to love God and love people - don't lose sight of that. If athletics or other activities start to get in the way of that, it's not worth it. Focus on the end, just like Jesus did.

3. Instead of Fighting with Kids, Fight for their Hearts (Eph. 6:4)
The most important thing for your kids is that they see you as trustworthy, it's even more important than them demonstrating trustworthiness. When they are acting in a way that needs correction, don't discipline them by fighting with them (that's all about you wanting to win an argument), instead fight for their hearts, for their attitudes. You can always discipline in anger, but that's not fighting for their hearts and it loses their trust. When you ignore their voice, you lose their trust.

4. Create a Rhythm (Deut. 6:4-9)
Our main goal should not be that we have children who are impressed by us, but who are impressed by God. What they think of God will determine how they live their life. Take advantage of the rhythm in your life to bring in God's rhythm (i.e. when you're driving to school, waiting in the doctors office, sitting down to eat, ask them how they saw God today, engage spiritual conversation). If you say God is your hope and reason for living, but you don't talk about it with your children, it doesn't work.

5. Make it Personal
Real change starts in your heart, then goes to your mind and then affects your actions. For the most part, your children will only go as far as you go spiritually. Time is short, make it personal. Your relationship with the Lord will determine in large part your children's relationships with the Lord.

Recommended Reading: Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, by: Reggie Joiner and Carey Niehwhof